Tuesday, June 25, 2013

ACCEPTANCE






Today I didn't bother
trying to converse
recycling the same words
the same news
for the hundredth time,
"D's having a baby girl."
You already forgot
the way you'll forget all your tomorrows.

Instead, I'll passively record
you in my mind's eye,
eating your soup, corn flakes and coffee,
complaining about the freezing air that seeps
through the window (though it's 102 outside),
sitting so small on the bed you refuse to leave,
the way a corpse stubbornly hugs the grave.
No pain today apparently.
I'm glad.

No I'm not.  I'm scared!
I'm the liar
who proclaims no fear of death
but whose heart solidified
too hard to pulse because movement
implies hope, and I only felt ...
I  don't know,
to learn you're given morphine,
to ease your life.
TO EASE YOUR LIFE?

But what can I do,
except watch, wait
as that shadow
grows over your bed.

   
93 year old mother-in-law fell.  Again.  I tend to associate morphine as the last resort drug so I panic a bit to know they're giving it to her.  She's always been so resilient, so she could bounce back.  Or not. What a difficult process this is.

Oh, and the good news - My daughter is having a baby girl.

(Submitted to Dverse Poets.)

17 comments:

  1. wishing you much strength in that process myrna...must be a tough time to go through... hugs and blessings your and her way..and congrats on your daughter's baby girl - i bet you're one proud grandma..smiles

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  2. i am sorry...my grandmother has fallen several times in the last year and its hard to watch...she is about the same age...i hope she is well...it is very difficult to watch myrna....

    congrats to your daughter...smiles.

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  3. Myrna, I can understand your fear. We know in our hearts and minds that everyone must die, and 92 is an age many do NOT reach; but eventually everyone reaches the point of not being resilient anymore......but I don't think we are ever ready for facing that point. So true....what can a person do but watch and wait.

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  4. You have created and shared a classic work of true literary Art. Soulfully you speak to my fears, my hopes. The title shows the only way. Holding your hand, so to speak, has helped and calmed me today. Friends. A simple word conveying much.


    Alha

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  5. Hugs to you --difficult when our parents are ill or in pain--and you capture this so well here!

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  6. Congratulations on the baby and I am sorry about the mother in law. It's so hard. Prayers.

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  7. Myrna, once again your poetry is hauntingly beautiful. (I could NEVER write the way you do.) I'm so sorry to learn of your MIL's fall and the pain, both physical and mental, that it caused. Why is it that we humans, who know from a very early age in life we all will die someday, that it always comes as a shock, no matter what the person's age? I'm so happy about your daughter having a baby girl!...and isn't that just the way the Circle of Life goes? Big hugs to you, Myrna

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  8. Such a powerful poem made so by the ironies and sparkling images and language. Writing is the way we've found for getting through our lives, even if they are stories Truth seeps through the floorboards and makes itself be known, if only to ourselves.>KB

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  9. How sad to see & wait as your grandma fell again ~ But then again, happy to read you going to be a grandma ~ Have a good week Myrna ~

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  10. A wonderful lesson in life, Myrna! It's all about love! Both are to be accorded care, affections and comfort! Both are rewarded or to be rewarded for their contributions to the family. Both are to be treated the same way, no difference at all except, they are at opposite ends. Nicely!

    Hank

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  11. The words that come from your struggle are truly inspiring... I can imagine what you're going through (unfortunately) and I wish you strength and peace and love and joy... and congratulations on the grandchild! How exciting.

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  12. Yes, it is a very difficult thing. We just went through this with my mother-in-law.
    A beautiful poem about this difficult subject.

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  13. Your poem is touching. The story behind it more so. I've been there with my mother so I understand every word. She once told me that she believed that for every person in a family who is passing on, God sends a new one. I assured her that was not true...but in my heart, I wonder. Congratulations on the new one who is about to make her entrance.

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  14. sounds like a time both difficult, and joyous. you bring it to life for us very well.

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  15. As a former hospice nurse, I felt this acutely. You have managed to pain such a clear snapshot of what it's like. My mother is almost 93 and this feels oh-so-familiar from that aspect, too.

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  16. Oh Myrna, life is so like that - the inevitable partings and, often, at the same time as an elder is passing, the promise of new life with a new baby grand daughter..........you are strong, kiddo. You will be okay. I wish I were closer, we could have tea and talk about how much life requires of us. Me - I cant wait for the photos when that beautiful baby girl arrives. You will have to tell her stories about both of her great-grandmas. The Ladies.

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  17. Wow another amazing writing and indeed what a difficult process. Much love.

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