DECEMBER 21, 2012.
Some believed the world would end. For me it almost did.
The phone call froze my life into moments of fear, despair that immobilized my limbs. I could only sit. But my stillness was loud with shouts, pleas transmitted from my soul to whatever could hear.
Ian, my three year old grandson, was sick, so sick and getting worse. Nothing stopped the fever. His pain was so strong it contorted his body 'til he could not move. His chatter, typically constant, ceased. His silence was broken only by groans. and his screams when examined.
The doctors weren't sure of the cause but they knew surgery would relieve the pressure on his esophagus and reduce the pain. He spent the night in agony. His helpless parents stood by unable to offer any consolation or relief. They asked me not to go. I can understand why. I would have been no help.
A war waged within me. Positive thoughts were slain by the negative possibilities. And the worse seemed possible.
Mega doses of mega medicines were given intravenously. Mega prayers went out from our friends that know how to pray.
At 5 a.m. Ian fell asleep exhausted. Surgery was to happen that morning. But when the doctors examined him again, it was clear something had changed. The abscess that was causing the trauma to Ian's body was subsiding, shrinking. The doctors decided to wait.
By early afternoon, everyone involved was perplexed. The doctors could not understand how/why such a healing was occurring. The parents were surprised when Ian ate a few crackers. (He had not eaten in days.) My husband and I were ecstatic at the news.
Christmas happened. Ian's recovery has been quick. My family and I enjoyed watching him open presents and play.
I think about the parents of children who have died and my heart goes out to them. I wonder how they cope.
I think about those who argue about the merits of science versus the existence of something beyond our capacity to explain. And I don't care. It doesn't matter. Truth just is. Let us believe what we want.
I am grateful. I thank science as well as the unknown for my grandson's recovery. What is a miracle?
Life has returned to "normal". I was unable to write until now and I had to write about this. I'll be visiting blogs, getting back to my attempts at poetry, enjoying the things I like. I know you would have been supportive, but I was too sad to get on line.
I hope we all remain healthy - in all the facets that entails. Hope you enjoyed the holidays, and that your "normal" is really, really good.
|Ian with my daughter during a fun pony ride. December 30, 2012|