Sunday, May 22, 2011


As soon as she asked me, my heart sank a little because I've been doing quite a bit of caretaking lately. But, I couldn't bring myself to say no. She deserves a vacation more than anyone I know (besides myself). How could I not support a young marriage by making fun possible? So I said yes I'll baby sit at daughter's house while she and her husband go take a little respite.

Gradually, I became excited about it. At first I thought I would be the only one involved, but my husband was quick to suggest that we get someone to care for the ladies (mother and mother-in-law) and we could both go and have fun doing grandparent stuff. He hadn't seen the baby in a few months and he was so happy to be able to spend time with him. He assured me this could be a kind of vacation for us both.

I called Maria, who has cared for the ladies for the last few years whenever my husband and I can get away. She agreed to do it once again. As soon as she arrived at the house, I gave her some instructions and left for what was sure to be a memorable, different kind of vacation.

The day of our arrival, after my daughter and husband left, we played with the baby, took him to feed the ducks at a lake, ate with him and bed time was delightful. It was a glorious day.

At 6:52 am the next morning, Maria called. She had slipped in our bathroom and thought she may have broken something in her knee, had to go the hospital asap, was calling a friend to stay with the ladies until we got home, would one of us get home quick, she was in a lot of pain.

My husband left an hour later. I'm at my daughter's house alone, enjoying my time with grandson, but missing my husband, disappointed and struggling to master the art of acceptance.

"Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."

Eckhart Tolle

(Maria did have some fractures. Hope she'll be okay.)


  1. You were forced to stay behind.... Unfortunately an incident like Maria's had to happen.... This is your time to just be with your grandson...
    I do hope Maria heals well and now your husband will do the taking care of the ladies and will know what you have been doing all this time.....

  2. Myrna: It is quite disappointing to expect something and it turns out to be different. But the spirit through all this matters. I wish Maria a speedy recovery and peace and joy to you and your husband.

    Myrna, I'm glad that I read this today and NOW. You have opened my eyes to something that I needed to see.

    Bless you for this post.

    Joy always, dearest Myrna,

  3. Oh, I am so sorry that your time with your grandchild did not go as planned, but I so agree with you about accepting that which comes our way, as there is a reason to everything. Often revealed first much later. I am a true fatalist, although I gave into my beliefs first a few years back and it has made me see life in such a new light.
    Hope your friend is ok and that her knee heals quickly,

  4. you actually sound like you are handling it moderately well...things change quick...hope she heals up soon an you enjoy those moments with the grandbaby

  5. I'm sorry to hear that things didn't go according to plan. Rather disappointing for you and your husband. But as usual, Myrna, you touch us with your grace and gentleness. I hope you and the little boy are enjoying your time together!
    Hope Maria recovers fast.

  6. Oh. Hard. Sorry that it did not go as planned. How frustrating. Hope you can nurture your disappointment feelings and then have some nice time with your grandson. Hope the two of you will get a get away again, soon. Much love.

  7. I am glad you got to have time with the grandchild! You are so giving. I hope Maria will be OK.

  8. Sorry your quality time with Hubby got interrupted. It is hard to see the up side when this happens - but you could spend your quiet time (when grandbaby's down) writing :) ... and you and your husband are owed a special trip away together, it's only fair.

  9. i hear you myrna - i would've been disappointed as well - but you handle your disappointment in a good way. great to hear about the lovely time you_spent with your grandson - i'm so thankful for the good relationship my children have with my mom - it's something so very valuable for both - grandchildren and grandparents

  10. Let your yes be yes-

    and learn how to privilege your own true needs. If you rescued a child from the street, would it be simple to put the kid to work? Of course not!

    Well YOU are that child. You deserve fun & down time...

    Aloha from Honolulu

    Comfort Spiral




  11. A speedy recovery to Maria... hopefully nothing too serious. And for this and it's timing, always a reason, just not always one we understand at the time that it occurs. Maybe your time with the grandson, maybe hubbies time with the ladies... maybe the needed (forced) rest for Maria. Or maybe... something none of us has thought of.

  12. just wanted to thank you for commenting myrna and hope you're having a great week