Wednesday, February 9, 2011

DECISIONS



Ruminating
my thoughts wander
within unknown darkness
no psychic powers predict
consequence of choice
muddy motivations stifle
clarity's flow intercepted
unanswered questions haunt
fear paralyzing spirit
confusion dominating all.

.
Perhaps I should...
Compared to others...
Right or wrong?
What if...?
Selfish me?
My life reclaim?
I'm no saint!

Feelings jumbled, contradict
truth of my soul
decision unmade
a decision just the same
life demanding movement
I breathe
I plunge
I chose.

(submitted to One Shot Wednesday where poets and writers meet.)

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Tough decisions must be made. For some it's about vocation, travel, marriage, divorce etc. For me it's about placing mother and mother-in-law in a nursing home. I've begun to explore those possibilities. It was a very difficult decision for me but I feel my physical and mental health are at stake. Wish me luck.

13 comments:

  1. oh i know this one...i always try to look at where i have been, where i am going and what the present circumstances are...but they yeah, you gotta take a leap...

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  2. no easy decisions, i agree - i like how you describe the way in your poem - and i whole-heartedly wish you luck myrna

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  3. I think it's very difficult when we have to make choices. The only thing I can say with some certainty, is you must take care of yourself before you can take care of anyone else.

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  4. Myrna, I agree with Linda above...you must take care of yourself first...especially in these circumstances. You can't be the care-giver forever for two elderly women, no matter how much you want want to, or feel pressured to do.
    I know it's a difficult decision, but remember to love yourself...first!

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  5. Oh, what a beautiful post and I can so relate to the difficulties of decision making. As some decisions are so very hard to make, as they affect those we love and we are alone in making them.
    I wish you the best of luck, but even if I know you only through your writing, I know you have a warm heart that will choose right. Trust yourself.;)
    xoxo

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  6. Decision making is not easy. The journey in making one is quite interesting. I know 1/2 people who just cannot make any decisions..... Always amazed as to how they move in life.

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  7. Just be. The right answer will echo through the walls of your heart.

    Life is beautiful.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  8. courageous...Myrna...you are the embodiment of courage and compassion. When I think about all that you have taken on with "the ladies" I am awed by you. My mother was this way...taking in her mother, caring for cousins and, aunts and uncles and my father's mother... choices are hard, but when we lead with our hearts then we can trust that we have made the best choice possible.

    gentle steps

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  9. Introspective and affirmative in making those choices.

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  10. Oh.. I can soo relate to this one, Myrna...
    "decision unmade
    a decision just the same" -- yup, I share your sentiment, my dear...
    A superbly introspective One Shot indeed...aahh... decision making!! Grrrrr

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  11. Sometimes I think the demand for movement is nothing but a nuisance. I wish there were a way around it.

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  12. Myrna ~ I love what you have written. Wishing you the best with such a difficult decision & hoping you take care of you

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