Sunday, May 2, 2010



The Rules Association for Disease Control (RADC) has issued a warning for all seidobs to refrain from contact with anyone who is showing signs of the mental and physical disease, Nutsalooney. There may have been a sudden and mysterious strain mutation, which has caused the virus to become infectious. The RADC is recommending that everyone wash their hands as often as possible and cover their windows with duct tape.

A young woman, simply known as Rednow, a victim of the chronic illness, Nutsalooney, has mysteriously transmitted her condition to other residents of this planet. As many as 20 seidobs have been officially diagnosed with the malady after coming in contact with Ms. Rednow, who denies any wrongdoing. Dr. Tightbottom, the renowned Nutsalooney specialist, declares the outbreak is inexplicable. The exact number of seidobs contaminated is unknown due to the fact that families in shame tend to hide the existence of the illness when it attacks one of its members. The disease can often manifest as an overall feeling of good health with an inclination towards silence and solitude as well as a strong rejection of our established rules, and engagement in odd, non-acceptable behaviors that are most often associated with happiness syndrome.

Ms. Rednow's mother, states she does not know how her daughter contracted the disease, but asserts that it was not through contact with anyone who had it. "It began by her breaking some rules, then I noticed her drifting into space, like in a trance , dreaming and smiling for no reason. Now, she often does things that make no sense. The other day, she stopped her chores and started singing out loud. It upset the neighbors, of course, since singing is only allowed in the square on Friday evenings at 7 pm. I try to think how I may have caused this. Is it my fault? But I know I've tried to raise her right. I followed all the rules." The mother's interview ended abruptly because she had to stop her daughter from dancing.

The other currently diagnosed Seidobs have refused to talk to the media and have dispersed into privacy. However, Dr. Tightbottom assures us that he will diligently continue to study the matter and has requested permission from Ms. Rednow's parents to observe her. He states, "I intend to find out what is causing this disease to spread." However, he offers no explanations or theories as to how or why this debilitating and anti-social illness is growing.

We will continue to follow this story.
(Seidob Syndicated Press Release)

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