Thursday, August 14, 2014

THE LIFE OF A BUG... OR SOMEONE YOU MIGHT KNOW

There were a few bugs in boxes
after our last move.



The darkness -
a comforting cocoon
allowing him to travel
hidden,
       finding treasures to devour.

How he got there,
he didn't care.


"Yummy life." he thought, scuttling,
                                                   chewing.
                                                             
But soon, he tired.

"Ptew!"
All he destroyed and ate,
tasted bland.

Not enough organic dirt
to keep his palate stimulated.

Up, down,
               around, alone,
                                      everything the same.


One day,
he came out
                  to the light,
                                  
 trying to find...
                      something else.

He didn't know where to look.

Instead,
            he was found
                                 by the bottom of a shoe.




Submitted to Dverse Poets where Gay Cannon has us focusing on the rhythm of a poem.  I tried to show this by bolding the words and breaking the sentences.  Hope it didn't make it too annoying to read.

17 comments:

  1. Yes! There were 3 or 4 more you didn't mark, but generally you hit this spot on and I could see exactly how you wanted me to read this, where you wanted the drum beats and it's whimsical yet jazzy at the same time. I hope the exercise made you smile and feel that "bottom line" to the art of your poems. Well done!

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  2. There are far too many scuttlers and chewers in my world.

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  3. i think you did well with this...

    one that i heard when i read but did not see marked was

    How he got there,
    he didn't care

    i would have put the beats on got and didn't...but that is just how i hear it when reading...

    eeep...yeah you gotta watch when you step out
    that you dont get stepped on...ha

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    1. Enjoyed the poem. Like Gay, I'd have stressed several more syllables - making it more iambic. But was that an oversight on your part, or just a difference between you and me and the personal music we hear?

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  4. This made me smile and then feel a bit sorry for the bug :).

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  5. Yikes..that sounds like the fear of me at one time..to be squashed by the bigger bugs if i veer outside..my 'cardboard box'..of a bedroom..with glassed computer screen view..but now i fly free..no longer afraid of insect or hu
    man..:)yes..i fly free..;)and yes..i'm fixing to leave the box again!wRite after here 2..:)when i get away again!

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  6. Poor bug, I think. But I bet he died bravely!

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  7. This made me smile but I didn't feel sorry for the bug.

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  8. Very rhythmic--and humorous! Although there could also be a sobering metaphor here . . .

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  9. I think you have a beat that mark the (dark) humor of your piece. You have to watch your step if you're a bug

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  10. oha - better watch out before you plan the great escape - i can understand that he got bored though with all that ever same tasting food...

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  11. aww...poor bug...but that's their fate..

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  12. At least he had a life before the shoe horror. Made me think of Monty Python's Bambi! I would take care not to rush through this bridge, maybe by emphasizing each word?
    "Up, down,
    around, alone,
    everything the same."

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  13. I do feel a bit sorry for the bug. It's a bugs life!

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  14. I love the title, first of all. The thoughts of the bug make it light and witty.

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  15. I love the ending, poor bug but he got what he wanted to do, smiles ~ Have a good weekend Myrna ~

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