Thursday, February 28, 2013

MY CHOICE TO FLOW IN UNCERTAIN PATHS




I've never understood lovers who chose to  part.
Regardless of circumstance, shouldn't love conquer?
Now I see, I've been naive,
not seeing love's complications, the layers,
facets competing to shine, gradations, elevations,
levels of proximity to the heart.

Based on this, my choice has been made. Not  huge
in the realm of all, but major enough.
I've decided to move, to adhere to the pull
of family versus the pull of habit and familiarity.
Each decision of love is a trade,
to get this, let go of that.
Logic flawed where emotions rule,
irrational conclusion seems most real.

The decision made, now to carry it out.
Frankly, I hardly know how it came about.
But, the process begins of saying goodbye,
to the desert house near my mountains -
true loves.
I go closer to family,
true love and my blood.

In this transition I flow, and know
life treats us to little deaths, attempting
lessons for our final detachment.
Even little deaths are marked by fears,
by tears, a voyage to the unknown.
But, the decision made,

I go.





(Submitted to Poetry Jam.)


Yes, my husband and I have chosen to move closer to daughter, son-in-law and grandson. Their pull is strong. The transition will be gradual.  We'll stay in a small townhouse we own here in town, until our home sells.  We'll keep the townhouse and live intermittently between daughter and here.  Mother-in-law is still here in a nursing home and we have many friends.  Eventually, we'll probably leave for good.  Guess, we're prolonging the inevitable.  If this sounds a little crazy, it may be.  It may only make sense in our irrational way of thinking.  Wish me luck.

I haven't been posting much.  I've been processing this decision, dealing with the trepidation, the letting go and the going.  Also, imagining, hoping the future is good. No guarantees, right?


17 comments:

  1. Myrna, your poem expresses the decision making so well. I know these decisions are difficult, but it sounds like you are working through it in baby steps rather than just jerking yourself away from the familiar suddenly. Good luck to you.

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  2. no, there are no guarantees but it can't be wrong to follow your heart either... best wishes for the move and hope everything goes well...and it will be lovely to live closer to your daughter and grandson as well.. he will be happy to have his grandma close...smiles

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  3. love is a trade off...and its not easy...there is something you have to give up and hopefully what you get far outweighs the other....i am glad you made the decision...the process of moving though acki...can be a task...no guarantees but i got hope for ya...smiles.

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  4. What a boon to have such a wise friend as you!


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    ~ > < } } ( ° > <3
    > < } } ( ° >
    > < 3 3 3 ( ' >

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  5. I specially like these lines:

    life treats us to little deaths, attempting
    lessons for our final detachment.

    I wish you luck in your transition and moving to another area ~ All the best ~

    Grace

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  6. Myrna, I know how you love your beautiful desert. I also know your grandson is the light of your life. Glad you will keep a toehold there, for return visits, at least for a transitional time till you feel more settled where you are going. You will find places of beauty there too. Keep us posted - your online friendships will remain in place, through all of the coming changes.

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  7. You are a wise lady, to be sure. It's good you'll be close to family.

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  8. I did what you are preparing to do ... way back in 1998. I never looked back and I don't think you will either. Love and family trumps everything!!! Your poem is beautifully written.

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  9. I know that this is a tough decision, dear Myrna but I believe that whatever you choose, it will be for good. You will be on my mind as your home transitions from the present place to another. I wish you and yours the best.

    Warm hugs and much love.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  10. I know change can be scary, especially moving... but I think there's nothing more valuable than living close to family.

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  11. Good luck on your move Myrna. A difficult decision but the heart does pull to family (if you are lucky with your family!) An emotional decision but sounds like you are moving through it logically!! Thanks for posting.

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  12. "Logic flawed where emotions rule,
    irrational conclusion seems most real" So True and a great use of words!.

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  13. You are such a good woman and mum. You always write from the heart. Keep courage, you will be fine living among those that you love so very much. Great write my friend.

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  14. In reading it feels good and right. Wishing you well.

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  15. I wish you the best. I have read this a few times, and I can relate to it. Somehow, such moves can feel counterintuitive. For me, letting go of what I want to be near someone who wants something else is difficult and maddening but very right at the same time. I have learned to embrace the contradiction.

    I wish you every happiness.

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  16. Life's choices often involve very complicated solutions. It adds to the problems when emotions and family relationships come into play. But the calmness and the wise decision-making over a protracted period is a good way of handling it. A good path worked out,Myrna!
    Great!

    Hank

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  17. I'm glad you're coming, Ma.
    D

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