Wednesday, June 6, 2012

TRUE CONFESSIONS



Whenever I have to confront something important I tend to use one of my two most reliable defenses.  One of them is procrastination, which is why I still haven't filed my taxes.  The government was kind enough to give me an extension (while I was dealing with my mother's illness and subsequent death).  If I can leave something for manana I definitely will chose to postpone.  Often, I maintain a kind of suspended animation 'til the very last minute.  That's probably how I'll deal with my current tax situation.  I have even put off looking up the date of the extension's deadline.

Another defense which I use too often is getting sleepy.  This is an innocent and seemingly involuntary defense but a very real and useful one.  If my husband and I must have a serious discussion - yawn.  If I have to to something unpleasant like clean the house, the yard, do laundry, go food shopping etc. - zzzzzzzzzzz

Unfortunately, though our emotional defenses intend to protect our egos, they actually frequently have an opposite effect.  To be too defended cuts us off from possibilities, it curtails our freedom.  So, that's why some of us propose to make some changes, to improve our characters and thereby increase our emotional and mental health.

I begin today.  (But please can you put off holding me to this?)  It's already noon and I've already pondered and contemplated to the point that it could get to be too late.  I ran across the site, "Insecure Writers Support Group" and I am joining.  The entries are accepted on the first Wednesday of each month.

The title is deceiving because some of the posts I read are written by people who seem very confident.  My hope is that they'll help my character flaws.  Maybe, I'll be inspired to stop procrastinating and write something longer than a blog post.  Maybe, I won't get so sleepy whenever I sit in front of the computer and think about dusting off the memoir I wrote years ago. Maybe I'll be different some day - confident, self assured, persistent, awake.

Wish me luck.


alexjcavanaugh.blogspot.com


27 comments:

  1. ha nice...that sounds like a cool group..so you may start your first novel soon then...smiles..just don't change too much myrna...i really like you as you are...and none of us needs to be perfect..just saying..

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  2. Welcome to the IWSG, Myrna! It's a great group of people and Alex is awesome.

    You don't sound like you're particularly insecure, just in need of some energy. I totally relate. I live in Seattle where it's cold, rainy, and grey ALL the time, so it's often hard to get started, hence the need for so much coffee. I find a lot of protein, rather than carbs, in the morning helps. Good luck fining your groove!

    Oh and BTW, I'm a new follower via the IWSG. Hope to see you around.

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  3. I can totally relate to your problem. I have a plaque on my writing space wall that reads: I always wanted to be a procrastinator, I just never got around to it. I think that explains it all.

    Welcome Myrna. You are among friends and will do fine.

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  4. Good luck Myrna. Sending you prayers and love <3

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  5. Welcome to the group:) ~hugs and gOOd luCK!!

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  6. Hey Myrna. Nice to meet you. I also just joined the IWSG. I am very much guilty of the same problems you're facing: procrastination and feeling lethargic. That's probably why it has taken me close to 6 years to write an epic fantasy. Hopefully we'll both find a way to overcome these problems sometime soon. :D

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  7. i know what you mean. it's not that i get tired, but i really rely on divine inspiration to power me through projects and poems. when i get that motivation, i can't stop going and going, but when i don't have it i can't accomplish much. i've learned to get other things done in my life, like taxes, which i couldn't afford to pay, or errands, and sometimes doing what i have to do helps stimulate my creative energy. but it's a mystery, too. hang in there.

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  8. "Awake" is a very good goal! :) I'm a new follower from the IWSG! Nice to meet you, and welcome aboard!

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  9. smiles. i may have a bit of that procrastination in me...smiles...paperwork for work is the worst...and i always pay for it...have fun with the group i know a few in it..

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  10. My dear Myrna,
    Wow...true confessions indeed!!. We all put things off for another day. I guess its part of being human. Hope you don't have sleep apnea?? Thanks for being so honest with us sweet friend.

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  11. You don't need to worry Myrna, your writing is amazing, I often look forward to your poems. And we're all insecure as writers - I think it's because we put ourselves on the page. I joined up too, and my biggest insecurity is I'll forget to post it next month. And I probably will.
    PS - I do the sleepy defense too :) feeling a few zzz coming on...

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  12. perfection is not the purpose of this world. Acceptance of yourself and your instincts leads somewhere better gently..... my opinion. You are good where you are, and can thrill as you grow in the direction you choose. But don't wait to accept and celebrate yourself. God made you and likes his work :-)


    Aloha from Waikiki,
    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >

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  13. We all have our different ways to cope with life's curveballs, in this group you'll find others dealing with their own issues and you'll get nice words of encouragement. It is indeed a great way to get those feelings out from within you into the open. Under the light they usually don't look so big and are easier to overcome. Welcome to the group, I know you'll find it a great place to connect.

    Gina from Diary of a Writer in Progress.

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  14. Welcome to IWSG, Myrna. The first step is admitting you have a problem. ;)

    Good luck!

    J.W

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  15. Cool to have you aboard!

    I'll procrastinate when I get around to it.

    We all have our defenses and excuses for not writing. They are but hurdles that we must conquer to make our dreams turn into reality.

    I know we all possess the wherewithal to do it, including you.

    Hope to see you around!

    Cheers.

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  16. Write one sentence a day and you will be amazed when you find out you want to write more and are not tired at all. Does not matter what you write, just write :)

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  17. It's really great to meet you, Myrna. I can so relate to your post as I am the world's worst procrastinator. I especially love this line: "To be too defended cuts us off from possibilities, it curtails our freedom."
    That's me in a nutshell if I'm not careful, and something I've been working on trying to change.

    Wonderful post, and good luck to you! I look forward to reading more of your blog.

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  18. Welcome to the IWSG!
    If you need a good kick to stay on target, this group will do that for you.
    Very sorry for the loss of your mother.
    We post the first Wednesday of every month, so I'll fix your link on the list to go to your main blog.
    See you next month!

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  19. I am very well acquanted with both of those! I am also a procrastinator. And with four kids I am tired all of the time! And yet I see other moms make it all work like magic. *sigh* I'll just keep working at my pace and eventually it'll all get done. Right? ;)
    Welcome to IWSG!

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  20. I am a fellow procrastinator. I am the world's best at coming up with good excuses not to do something. And as a result, I miss out on a lot in life. (I do however wish I could spontaneously fall asleep at opportune times!)

    I find that there are two ways I can get through things. 1: competition. This is why I religiously do NaNoWriMo challenges, I completely view them as competitions. 2: Little and often. Editing a manuscript is daunting. Editing a page isn't so much.

    Welcome to IWSG!

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  21. Dear Myrna, i love your writing. You always write candidly, right from the heart and I love your very personal accounts of your life. It is the quality, not the quantity, that counts.
    And I procrastinate too, oh boy, I do. I postpone things I hate until the lats minute and at times I do not do them at all, which can be problematic. Why doesn't life consist of only chores and tasks we love to do right?;)
    Have a great weekend and thank you for your always kind words that you leave at my place,
    xoxo

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  22. Oh, I am the Queen of the Procrastination, let me tell you! I think we all do it to some extent. The good thing is that you are aware of it! That's a start :)

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  23. You are a great writer! I enjoyed this very much.

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  24. Procrastination is my middle name, it seems. It is true. The IWSG has all sorts of writers. But, even the published and successful have moments (or hours) of fear. When I'm feeling my lowest, I love stumbling upon a blog who is in the middle of a "I did it!" moment. It forces me to push on. Does that makes sense? It feels as if I'm rambling. lol.

    Welcome to the IWSG!! Stop by my blog anytime. :)

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  25. Perhaps we should compete to see which of us is the bigger procrastinator, Myrna ;) Good luck with the support group!

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  26. You are indeed a great writer. Sounds like a fun, supportive connection.

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