Tuesday, January 10, 2012

THE LIGHT OF BLINDNESS


Oblivious reality.

Trapped in blank darkness,

empty unintelligent space

chocking your life, until

only remnants seemingly

imitate true essence.


Yet...


You smile, stumbling

upon secrets, ancient

unconscious wisdom infused.

Unknowingly, you know.

You teach serene, and joyous

lessons surrounded by tempests

viewed by others with false sight,

unaware that it is you,

who sees light.

(Submitted to Dverse Poets.)

***

Within the last month, glaucoma has caused my mother to turn completely blind. Attempts to teach her strategies to compensate, have been futile because Alzheimer's has robbed her of any ability to learn new skills. Initially, I experienced despair and much sadness. I was frustrated, powerless to help her, to find a solution, to somehow change the situation, though I tried.

"Be careful you don't trip," she said. "The lights went out here and they haven't fixed them." Her innocence broke my heart and I entertained thoughts of pity, regret, resentment.

But then... I began to notice, her repeated words of gratitude at my visits, the food I bring, the kind staff at the nursing home, the little things which I tend to take for granted. I noticed her smile and most of all I detected the absence of any negativity.

I realized that out of the blankness of her life, she is teaching me that... joy is something we can have regardless of circumstance, that acceptance is possible, that the heart remains kind and that love does not go blank.

Life is so strange sometimes. My mother did not raise me, and I had given up ideas of receiving anything from her. Yet, now from her blind maternal love, she gives me lessons.

16 comments:

  1. This is so touching ....loved it ...I do hope you and your mother continue to share in each others gifts for a long time to come ...thanks for sharing x

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow myrna...i had goose bumps reading this.. so touching to hear about the growing connection...and sometimes we can learn a lot from those that do not see..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. Not only is this experience beautiful on such a deep level but your writing and being able to express is such. Much love to you both in this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can learn a lot from others that see yet through other ways than the eyes we use, great verse.

    ReplyDelete
  5. smiles...through the rough comes the diamonds...i am glad you are connecting...i know that has to be hard myrna...a blind man used to tune our piano and i would sit and watch and he would talk to me as he did...i learned a lot there too..smiles.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is an awesome post. My mom's eyesight appears to be failing, and she is struggling mightily. She doesn't have Alzheimer's, so that's a plus. Anyway, this struck a chord with me.

    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/the-sun-came-up-again-4/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Myrna, your poetry never ceases to amaze me. I always know I am in the midst of great writing when I read yours. And how wonderful for you and your mother to connect in such a different way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Beautiful Myrna.... your moms innocents broke my heart as well. oh Myrna.... so beautiful. you, your writing, your Mom. ... the eternal connection between a mother and child. LOVE....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Learning occurs when we stop looking and start reflecting. Myrna, glad that you are folding the corners and observing the light.

    Joy always,
    Susan

    P. S: Shall remember your mom in our prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was very sad and simultaneously a very uplifting read. I love the sensitivity and the positive attitude through out the post, as you choose to take away something good from something so bad. Really enjoyed reading this dear Myrna and I am very sorry for the troubles that fill your life right now.
    You are a true inspiration.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Simply heartrending and thrilling at the same time. It seems your Mom has learned to cope. And now perhaps it's making it easier for you to cope. That's wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A tender and loving poem, my friend. Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Myrna.. this was so very touching... A mother's love always comes back in some from or the other... Her view of what life is for her now is touching...

    ReplyDelete
  14. So sorry things developed this way. It would be testing on everyone.Such a moving poem.

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  15. Myrna, Myrna, dear one...out of the darkness an inner light arises and if we pay attention there is much to be grateful for, to learn.

    ReplyDelete