Friday, December 9, 2011


I've been catching up on some of your blogs. Please forgive me if I haven't visited in a while. For whatever reason, time has taken on a peculiar, undesirable dimension in my life and I seem unable to do those things I truly enjoy, like reading your blogs and writing my own.

But life has a way of giving us messages, if we listen. Several blogs I read mentioned a recent article about regrets during end of life. No I'm not dying. But I remembered some people I knew when I worked with terminally ill patients.

"My deepest regret is that I won't get to see my brother. Now we're both bed ridden, just waiting for death," he told me, as he struggled with his breath. "My brother has lived in Florida all his adult life. I stayed here in New York. We always meant to visit each other, but somehow we didn't make the time. Now it's too late."

This man's wife was terminally ill also. She lay motionless in another room. They were childless, and had accumulated a good amount of money.

I remembered another woman I knew. She died of cancer after marrying a sick, much older man. The plan was that she'd take care of him. In return he'd leave her all his money. But he survived her. I never witnessed a more bitter, reluctant death.

I don't mean to sound morbid. What I'm really intending to do is confess that I've been wasting time and making poor choices. Though I have no regrets for my life until now, lately I feel like I'm a grain of sand in the top side of an egg timer. Time is rushing fast, and I have lost control.

It occurred to me that if I were to invent a time machine, I would not make one that goes back in time, but rather I would make one that created or expanded time. It would be for people like me, for whom time shrinks, and becomes not enough.

Luckily, I know I can regain a positive perspective. I can reevaluate what I want to accomplish, even if it's only some quiet moments of reflection, writing, doing something I enjoy.

"A day is a span of time no one is wealthy enough to waste."
Author Unknown


  1. i think it's good to stop on our way from time to time and ask ourselves those questions and maybe it's time to change things, going new ways, setting new priorities... i can feel you in this myrna and if you ever manage to build this time machine...please tell me...i certainly had use for it..smiles

  2. Myrna,
    Right on, Ma'am. There's a lot out there which we yearn for but couldn't.We realized too late. It's a tragedy! Good that you made us realize the painful truth! Btw, I remember connecting with you before.


  3. As the year comes to an end, we have a lot to reflect and meditate upon. While many have passed on, life remains in us and it is not without a purpose. Myrna, don't regret. Everything has a purpose. I wish you joy and passion, always.

    Much love and big hugs,

  4. it is good to evaluate where we are periodically because the sands are always draining...while i am not big on the bucket list there is some sense in make sure you are getting done what you hope...

    good to see you friend...

  5. Bless you friend of my heart

    Aloha from Waikiki

    Comfort Spiral

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    < ° ) } } > <

  6. Myrna, I don't know when I've read a post that meant more to me than this one. I write about such things, but there's always the struggle to do it more concisely and maybe even poetically, and you've succeeded marvelously in both areas.

  7. Sweet Jesus, the word Regret has me heading for the hills. Thanks for this post.

  8. Myrna, once again you've written such a beautiful post. Life can be so "backwards" sometimes. As we get older and KNOW how to enjoy life, time flies by much too fast. Why can't it be switched...where time is SO slow for children?!

  9. Good reminder. This past week I had two couples in my office with terminal illnesses. They talked of writing their thank you letters to all who had impacted their lives... not goodbye letters. They reflected on regrets and their opportunity to do something today. It was a powerful message. Missed you.

  10. Beautiful candid post. I think I can relate, maybe if for different reasons.
    I find myself so MUCH out of time lately too. I am so enjoying my new found life and love and I want each moment to be lasting much longer than it does. As I left my single life behind, I left behind a lot of spare time - and I find too I do not blog as often as I would like to.;)
    But in return I am the happiest I have ever been and I guess happiness is reflected in the fact that time passes too soon...
    Like your idea of that machine.;)

  11. I like this idea of time expansion...I think sometimes that meditation, writing and photography have this quality for me...any creative mindful endeavor really...when fully present time feels fuller, everything feels fuller.

  12. Myrna, both Alex and I were just saying how the clock has sped up in the last 10 years. It was April, and now it's December and what was in between? In my youth, time dragged and lagged. Now it's a whirling impression. Deep thoughts my Lady!