Over a month ago I received many encouraging and supportive comments and emails from many of you - my blogging buddies. I thought I'd fill you in on progress.
Mother and mother-in-law, the ladies as I fondly call them, are doing well. Due to the intensity of my prayers as well as the increased strength of antidepressants, mother-in-law is no longer cursing me with her every breath. She has joined my mother in complacency and is actually enjoying many things about being in a nursing home. I am discovering that, contrary to popular opinion, a nursing home need not be a nightmare of neglect and poor services. In general I think they are both quite happy.
My daughter asks, "Do you miss them?" and I honestly respond, "No." This is raw truth whose wisdom I am discovering. I am now certain that I made the right decision and though I love them, I know we are better off apart.
Gradually, the time I used to devote to them is getting filled. Not with exciting adventures but with the simple rhythm of daily choices. A little while ago a friend invited me out for coffee and I accepted. That's the level of activity that gives me pleasure.
My spirit is peaceful and devoid of regrets. And though I have more possibilities to engage in social activities, I actually enjoy more the tranquility of my home which affords me the luxury of relative solitude and the freedom to just be.
My husband is a gardener. I love being in this wonder of birth and growth.