Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Over a month ago I received many encouraging and supportive comments and emails from many of you - my blogging buddies. I thought I'd fill you in on progress.

Mother and mother-in-law, the ladies as I fondly call them, are doing well. Due to the intensity of my prayers as well as the increased strength of antidepressants, mother-in-law is no longer cursing me with her every breath. She has joined my mother in complacency and is actually enjoying many things about being in a nursing home. I am discovering that, contrary to popular opinion, a nursing home need not be a nightmare of neglect and poor services. In general I think they are both quite happy.

My daughter asks, "Do you miss them?" and I honestly respond, "No." This is raw truth whose wisdom I am discovering. I am now certain that I made the right decision and though I love them, I know we are better off apart.
Gradually, the time I used to devote to them is getting filled. Not with exciting adventures but with the simple rhythm of daily choices. A little while ago a friend invited me out for coffee and I accepted. That's the level of activity that gives me pleasure.
My spirit is peaceful and devoid of regrets. And though I have more possibilities to engage in social activities, I actually enjoy more the tranquility of my home which affords me the luxury of relative solitude and the freedom to just be.

My husband is a gardener. I love being in this wonder of birth and growth.

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there."

George Bernard Shaw


  1. My dear Myrna, I remember reading about your conflict regarding your mom & mother-in-law a while back.I'm glad they seem to be doing much better, as are you. You have a good & kind heart. You are at peace now and that's a wonderful state of being. We are both alike in that we take great pleasure in the simple things in life.

    Your garden look absolutely lovely and is perfect to (as you say)just be.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Have a wonderful week ahead, my dear.

  2. the simple rhythm of daily choices...that is a nice thing to fill it with..i am happy for you myrna...really...

  3. thank you for sharing your wisdom and making me feel better about things...

    Aloha from Waikiki;

    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >

  4. Wow. A post full of such wisdom. Thank you. Much love.

  5. Thanks dear Myrna for this updation. Glad to know that you fondly think of all of us and share with us your rhythms of life.

    Joy always,

  6. Beautiful and such candid writing. I agree with you that honesty with ourselves and others is vital. You gave it your all and now you have made sure that the two ladies are well taken care of. Whether by you or a professional who chose to do this for a living, makes no difference to them. But a huge difference to the quality of your life.
    On another note, I think I would get along with your husband, I like gardening too.;)
    And what a tranquil image of a beuatiful serene place. I could imagine spending hours there...

  7. Glad to hear the adjustments are going well. And no, not all nursing homes are bad. It does help to make unannounced visits at a variety of times, just to assure yourself. In the good ones... it can be very beneficial to all invovled, helping to allow family to be just that rather than having to deal with the difficulties of the disease.

    Continuing positive thoughts for all of you.

  8. How very bizarre for me to read your post. My mother has been living with me for almost 4 years. Recently my mother-in-law moved in. I call them "The Ladies." I'm finding it very hard to take care of both of The Ladies, but I at the same time I'm enjoying it. I wouldn't have it any other way. One is 81, and one is 93 so I know it won't last forever, but for right now...I'm learning alot.

  9. Myrna, I am so happy that your spirit is lifting and you are getting back to your life. The difficulty of caring for two women with Alzheimer issues was a killer, both physically and spiritually for you. They are fine it seems to me. And you can breathe easy and know you did the right thing.

  10. I always admire your combination of authenticity and kindness, Myrna. I'm glad you're enjoying your time of 'being'. The garden is truly a treasure (as are you!).

    Would it surprise you that the CAPTCHA I got for this comment was 'rested'!

  11. Myrna, there is such peace in what you have written. I'm so happy that the ladies are settling into their new rhythms as you are finding yours. An afternoon sipping coffee with a friend would be a welcomed adventure for me too. I'm grateful that you have the time and freedom to appreciate the garden and your friends.

    You have indeed made a good decision, a loving choice for everyone.

    blessings upon you sweet friend.

  12. I am glad you are at peace with your decision. Thank you for sharing this experience here. I have learned plenty!

  13. it was a good thing i was not drinking something or i would have spit all over the computer at your misread of my title...thank you dear myrna for the birthday wishes...

  14. the freedom to just be...is something very valuable...enjoy your new won liberty and take your time to find out what is really on your heart, that you want to do

  15. Hi Myrna! I thought for sure I'd left a comment here but obviously, I didn't. This was during my blog vacation, so I think I read it, but didn't take the time to comment. I'm so happy that you are getting back to your "normal" life and enjoying just being you! Hugs!