Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Lesson

Major Abstract Pictures, Images and Photos


There's something I must learn from this
abyss. Emptiness engulfing my being, suffocating,
no breath. Like the schools of old, rote living
each day repeated, waiting for the next, the same.

Heart shriveling, giving what it doesn't have
to needy souls who for resolution and conclusion wait.
"No life have I," with resentment I've retorted
to ignorants innocently shrugging
"This too shall pass" they say.

My silent scream is heard
by non-existent deities who squirm powerless
on non-existent thrones. Despondent grief
my only consolation remains.
Illusive nightmare of captivity
for true freedom yearns.


With eyes wide open must I dive
into the stream of universal flow, allowing healing
waters to cleanse my soul. Recognizing I do have life,
possibility potential, time -
to teach me the essence
of the lesson I have yet to learn.

_______________
This Thanksgiving my mother (Alzheimer's) will have lived with me for five years. My mother-in-law (90 year old, dementia) will have lived with me for three years. Sometimes, my spirit plummets into sadness. Caregiving was never on my list of intentions, but life had other plans.

****

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20 comments:

  1. 'With eyes wide open must I dive
    into the stream of universal flow, allowing healing waters to cleanse my soul.' You sound like a very generous caregiver in challenging circumstances.

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  2. Wow. The exhuastion of being a caregiver for so long. I can only imagine. Sending love to you.

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  3. yeah...whew a tough role to play...and so much we all have left to learn...each day a new one...nice one shot!

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  4. Life does have its own plans....and writing sometimes is the best outlet for the plans that were never on our list of things to do....blessings in your life...may you find some peace in all the weight of caregiving....bkm

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  5. Myrna being a caregiver is hard and so very challenging on many levels. More so it challenges our beliefs and inner strength.
    At the end of all of this you would have understood many dimensions of yourself and the people you are looking after.
    Sending you Love and Light

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  6. "With eyes wide open must I dive
    into the stream of universal flow, allowing healing waters to cleanse my soul" ... this is the mus beautiful definition of crying I've ever read. You are grand, Myrna...you touched my soul.

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  7. Dear Caregiver: May Angels care for YOU!



    Aloha from Waikiki :)

    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>


    <°)}}><

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  8. How beautifully you put into words despair... Yet it seems you acknowledge your burden gracefully. I too feel at times that life has constantly other plans then those I have laid out.
    xoxo

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  9. I can't dive with my eyes wide open... I have to shut them (or wear goggles! LOL!)

    Nice One Shot, Myrna!

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  10. you have a beautiful way to put sadness into woven delicacy..i certainly enjoyed that read..life does have other plans ..mostly :)
    hugs..:)

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  11. This is so sadly beautiful. I know how hard this is, Myrna, and God bless you for doing it and with grace. You are an amazing woman. I feel honored to know you.

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  12. Hello Myrna, I would like to thank you for your kind words about my blog Skylover. Much appreciated :)

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  13. Myrna - that's heavy hitting and speaks volumes.
    the emotions jump off the page but resolve brings them back

    Thanks for sharing with one shot - Happy Wednesday

    Moon Smiles and hugs

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  14. Hopefully living in the Enchanted Land with its ever changing panoramas, and whispers from nature and whatever gods may be will protect you and your unconquerable soul. Beautiful write, compelling. Thanks, Gay @beachanny

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  15. this poem is AMAZING. such heart & soul...

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  16. i wrote a poem that I featured on One Stop a while ago, A Love Thats Lost, which was for my father in law who passed away with alzheimers....his illness taught me so much...he had been a friend for 25 years, a father to my wife for 40, it was a hard few years....i feel for you and so understand your word...thanks for sharing...pete

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  17. You are a good and strong lady. What a heart! Your poem touched me deeply.

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  18. I had no idea you were a caregiver for two people. Bless you Myrna!

    This is a beautiful poem and it really touched me. But then all of your writing touches me. You are such a talented lady.

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  19. What beautiful words... 'My silent scream is heard
    by non-existent deities who squirm powerless' I enjoyed it very much Myrna... thanks for sharing...

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
    Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com

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  20. ah myrna - i heard your cry!
    not easy at all - and i bet you're doing wonderful with caring for the two ladies - you have the heart for it - even if it's not easy
    ...and take your time for diving and let your soul be cleansed and refreshed

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